do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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