nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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