i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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