You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize