I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
