How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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