Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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