You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
