what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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