Sponge bath it is.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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