So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
