as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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