i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think I died a long time ago.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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