If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
