They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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