He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
