We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
