I CAN MOONWALK!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
