I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
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And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
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Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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