I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
