Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
