You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
