I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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