I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
