Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
