maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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