i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
