I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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