So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i already hear my dad disowning me
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
