it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
