Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
