I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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