Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My bed smells like the plague
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
