and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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