You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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