Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There's always time for handjobs
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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