Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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