what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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