How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
