I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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