He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
