I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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