i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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