omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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