i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
