I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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