My girlfriend figured out who you are.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
