well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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