i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
