the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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