She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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