i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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