I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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