Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
