well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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