If i come over, it means nothing
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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