Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my shit smells like andre
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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