We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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