Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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