I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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