What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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