google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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